How to be confident? Start by knowing your personal values!
Do you know that self-confidence starts with you? It does not magically falls on us. We build self-confidence through efforts and choices.

For me, a pillar of confidence is “personal values”.
Knowing what are our values, what matters to us, what is important and how we want them in life. One’s values are defined to be guiding principles to behave and live.

I like to represent values as a compass through which we know where and when we are in accordance with our Self. According to Joanna Barclay:

“When you live in alignment with your values, life has a sense of purpose and is meaningful”

That is pure truth, when you know and embody what you stand for, you are the person you want to be, making consistent choices, behaving accordingly. Hence, you reach peace and serenity with yourself. You are confident that your decisions and your actions reflect what matters to you.

Do you know your values?

The problem is, often we think we know what matters to us in life. We can generally cite a few “Respect, trust, …”. But are they really our profound values?

First, values evolve throughout time. They change according to experiences, life events, learnings … As a child we get inspired or educated through a certain set of values, coming from parents. Then, growth leads us through challenges, particular situation that are likely to alter this initial set.
Thus, it is important to reconnect with our deep values to find out how they evolve and not taking for granted what was the case years ago.

Second, very few people truly know what is the meaning behind the words they consider as values. Because every human has his own definition of a word. The definition is made through perception, experience. When we hear “Love”, one may see a long-term couple relationship while the other will see unconditional love for her parents.
This is why, understanding the meaning behind is so crucial to truly live and know what are OUR values.

Additionally, there is the undeniable society pressure where we often tend to take as values what we think “we should”. We believe that is it morally correct to choose “loyalty” than “success”, etc.
The thing is that values are not a race, but our personal compass. There is no benefit in playing against us and hiding the truth. There is more to lose in maintaining an inner conflict rather than fully living what we stand for.


How to know your values?

Working with me, my coachees always go through a personal values exercise to help them narrow down their real values. I guide them to identify what truly matters to their Self, how they feel grounded  and what they want to see in their life. Doing the exercise with a coach is highly recommended as you will be guided through the steps and gain a clear insight rather than doing it alone.

You can benefit from a free coaching session with me to undergo a values exercise and find out what and how to live yours!

On your own, you can already by raising awareness on different areas of your life. I reckon to start by noting down the values you think of, the ones coming to your mind.
Then, over a few days: simply question yourself.
Take a few minutes during your day to gather with your soul and analyze situations. Why do you do this? What do you like in that? What do you dislike?

As well, you can go through the below questions on your own:

  • What matters to you in social relationships?
  • Which thoughts occupy your mind most of the time?
  • What is important for you in your work and what is not?
  • What makes you satisfied in your personal life?


Once you know your values, you can embody them in all aspects of your life and feel self-fulfilled and peaceful.

Are you looking to properly explore yours and align your actions to what you strive for?
Be in touch right now to benefit from a free session to find out your personal values and how to be confident in your life.


Thank you for reading,

With a lot of warmth and energy,

Alice Avril, Self-Mastery Coach
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